


Breathe in, Time out

by dirkapitated, taaklear



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Running Away, Unrequited Love, bye, hangovers, his name is donner, im so sorry that deer troll is an actual character, me and zeba wrote a fic together, overeating chocolate, romcom, short dave, tall john, this is all so queer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-09 03:59:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1968132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirkapitated/pseuds/dirkapitated, https://archiveofourown.org/users/taaklear/pseuds/taaklear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Dave live together in New York with their friends. John is in love with Dave. Dave is in love with someone who he says he hasn't met yet. He keeps having dead end relationships. He keeps hesitating on taking care of himself. John makes him eat his vegetables and he also picks his sorry ass up off the proverbial handle every once in a while. Dave's earth comes shattering down when he's left by himself in the confines of time. </p>
<p>Dave is no knight in shining armor. He is just a guy who barely has a grip on his place in the world. John is the heir of something. The heir of Dave's depression, the living symbol that Dave leaves a mark on everyone he meets. John plays the notes on the piano while Dave decides the octave, but what happens when the notes cease to be struck?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. post-hangover morning (really mourning)

**Author's Note:**

> hi there! i'm ryn, and the notes at the end will be written by my wonderful girlfriend zeba. this is hopefully going to be a long, long fic, and hopefully not just a romcom. i hope it's a lot more than that, maybe even some sort of obligatory johndave classic? who knows. this is just the first chapter of many. 
> 
> my tumblr is dirkapitated if you would like to follow me, and zeba's is johnxdavesprite!

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:25 --

TG: uuuuuuuuugh  
TG: john im  
TG: im dying  
TG: im literally dying  
TG: my head feels like its cracked  
TG: im bleeding out onto the bathroom floor  
TG: im fucking hopeless this is bullshit man  
TG: bullshit  
EB: good morning, sleeping beauty.  
TG: its like a chant to the underworld bullshit bullshit bullshit bull fucking shit bye  
TG: stfu  
EB: you only have yourself to blame! i tried to keep you at least somewhat sober. like. enough to not feel like you're dying.  
EB: but nooo. you insisted. i guess it didn't help that karkat was taunting you but...  
TG: well you obviously are a shitty friend john  
TG: how many apple vodka shots did i even have  
TG: and why apple  
TG: why is my subconscious so geared on apple juice  
EB: because you love apples.  
EB: duh.  
EB: i don't know exactly how many you had.  
EB: i think you kept sneaking them in behind my back.  
EB: i had to literally carry you out to the car.  
TG: nice  
TG: i wish you were my dad  
TG: you would be a good dad  
EB: ew. no.  
EB: i don't want to be your dad.  
TG: oh daddy senpai  
EB: dude, cut it out!  
TG: pls come over and save my sorry ass  
TG: im in the fetal position on the bathroom floor  
TG: im like  
TG: a mid menstrual teenage girl  
EB: you puked on me by the way. it was terrible.  
TG: im so proud of drunk me  
TG: hes a very good man  
EB: i know you're in the bathroom, by the way. i can hear you whining. did you forget we live in the same apartment?  
TG: hurling on my best friend just great i love it  
TG: oh  
TG: right  
EB: i almost couldn't get you into bed. you're suuuuper clingy when you're drunk.  
EB: and by into bed i mean your own bed.  
EB: you were determined to sleep in mine.  
TG: yeah i remember that part tbh  
TG: but john im in immense pain right now  
TG: like  
TG: have you ever taken 5 laxatives at once  
TG: because thats what i feel like right now  
EB: gross.  
TG: ik  
EB: well hey, you're lucky i don't even like to drink so i can pick you up every time you end up on the floor under the table in a puddle of vomit and regret.  
EB: so uh. you did something last night you might want to know about, 'cause, i don't know exactly how drunk you were at that point but it had to have been pretty drunk?  
EB: and i'm not sure if you remember.  
TG: remember what  
EB: well you uh. kinda made out with sollux.  
TG: what  
TG: i did??????  
TG: oh man  
TG: score  
EB: oh.  
EB: yeah.  
EB: you did.  
EB: but uh. i mean. you weren't planning on doing it again, were you?  
TG: what are we dating or something now  
EB: i don't think so.  
TG: oh  
TG: why??  
EB: because he just made out with you in a club and i don't think that necessarily means anything considering you were probably both drunk??  
EB: and i don't know if you...should try and pursue him anyway?  
EB: i mean, dave, he's kind of a douchebag!  
TG: aw cmon man sollux is cool  
TG: he gives everyone cool nicknames  
EB: not really.  
EB: he spends most of his time playing call of duty and shit from what i've heard.  
EB: i dunno.  
TG: he calls me ds and he calls karkat kk  
TG: and he calls you db  
TG: not sure what that means tho  
EB: ...probably douchebag. he's one to talk.  
TG: nah  
EB: what do you think it means then?  
TG: uh  
TG: i dunno  
TG: something cool  
TG: or  
TG: yeah i got nothing  
EB: he's just. kind of a dick! and i'm not sure if it would be a good idea for you two to get involved!  
TG: maybe youre just unnecessarily mean to him  
EB: i'm not even mean to him. he's just a jerk and it pisses me off.  
TG: yeah whatever  
EB: ugh.  
TG: im gonna ask him out  
TG: hes online so  
TG: yeah  
EB: do what you want.  
TG: here goes  
EB: i mean, as said before, i'm not your dad.  
EB: i can't tell you what to do.  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:48 --  
EB: hey. dave??  
EB: dude.  
EB: ugh.  
EB: guess i'm coming to check on you then.  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:56 \--  
TG: nooo dont im  
TG: a mess  
EB: oh.  
EB: why? just the hangover or?  
TG: apparently he  
TG: has a girlfriend  
EB: oh.  
TG: aa or something  
EB: aradia.  
TG: i would use a sad face emoticon but  
TG: nah  
EB: i know her. dunno what she sees in him but...  
EB: i'm coming to check on you.  
TG: noooo why  
EB: because i check on you every time something like this happens.  
TG: noooooooooooo  
TG: i look horrible  
EB: i don't care.  
EB: see you in two seconds.  
TG: im not cool enough for your eyes  
TG: noooo  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:01 --  
TG: :((

     John was, as he’d said, in the bathroom in two seconds, and Dave was not kidding about being a mess. Not that John really cared if he looked uncool, but it did hurt to see how...broken he looked. He supposed part of that was due to his hangover, but the rest was 100% rejection. His eyes were bloodshot, cheeks tearstained, and he just...overall looked terrible. John couldn’t help but think that he had warned him not to try to get involved with Sollux, but that didn’t matter so much at the moment. He had to comfort his best friend/roommate right now. Sighing, he carefully made his way into the bathroom, noting Dave’s slightly embarrassed shuffling.

     “...Hey. It’s okay. Just. C’mere.” And, even though Dave was totally overreacting over being “dumped” when he hadn’t even been with Sollux in the first place, John bent down and very gently scooped Dave into his arms. Despite his insistence that no, John didn’t need to come check on him, Dave seemed to relax into the embrace awfully quickly, which was sort of surprising, though he did murmur a couple weak insults as he was lifted into a sort of bridal-style position.

     “Hey, c’mon, man. I told you I didn’t need any help, ok?” Didn’t need help. Sure. John believed that. Not. He snorted softly, giving Dave a little squeeze regardless, which made the blond try to swat him away. A futile endeavor, seeing as John was like, twice his size.

     “Bullshit. If I leave you on your own you’re going to end up on the couch watching romcoms and drowning your feelings in ice cream.”

     “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” It was no secret Dave basically had no idea how to take care of himself, and he didn’t seem to be as reserved about the topic around John, though the noiret never really was able to figure out why.

     The other boy only giggled, hefting Dave’s meager weight (almost too meager, he thought) and making the rather quick trip to Dave’s bedroom. He had to sort of wade through the mess of clothes, half his and half John’s littering the floor. Ugh, he needed to do laundry soon. When he made an attempt to drop his precious cargo onto the bed, the shorter boy made a vice grip around the back of John’s neck, obviously not wanting to budge.

     Shrugging, John instead sat himself on the bed, meaning Dave was basically sitting in his lap. He got the feeling Dave didn’t mind too much, though, if the way he just held onto John more tightly was any indication. Fuck, despite Dave being so short, he sure had some wiry muscle. The blond was practically squeezing John to death.

     “Hey, man. Can you loosen your grip a little? You’re kinda strangling me here.”

     “No, man. We’re forever linked like this. It’s like, I’m this weird parasite who you woke up to one morning, all clinging to you or some shit. At first you thought it was gross, but then you realized this weird, sort of hot parasite was the raddest guy around, and you became best bros, the end. It’ll be a movie. We can call it ‘The Davebert Sandwich’. Based on a true story. Sort of.”

     John rolled his eyes as Dave rambled, but he was used to it, so he didn’t try to interrupt. It wasn’t like he hated listening to Dave talk, either. “I think a sandwich requires more than two people, and I don’t think you’d want to share, Dave. You have to think up another title, sorry to tell you.”

     “Shut up, man. My title is the best, don’t lie.” Wordlessly, he rested his head on John’s chest, inhaling slowly. “Hey, you’re wearing my shirt.”

     John snorted (again. He needed to stop doing that, it was seriously gross. Especially when he laughed) and poked Dave. “No, I’m not. It’s my shirt. That I found when I was doing the laundry after it went mysteriously missing.”

     “Hey, once the Strider wears it, he’s claimed it for his own and it’s added to his hoard. We’re like teenage girls. Hoarding clothes is a common passion.”

     Wow, Dave was a dork. He laughed a little, petting Dave’s hair idly, before realizing… “Hey. I’ve never seen you actually wearing this shirt, though. Did you just wear it while I wasn’t home, or maybe...to bed? Dave, wow. You do love me.” He was just teasing of course. He had no doubt that Dave had only worn it when he wasn’t home, so that John wouldn’t realize where it had gone.

     “Yeah, I totes wore it as jammies. When I screwed your sister!” He laughed jokingly, poking John in the chest a couple times. Which had John making a mock pouty face. Of course, he knew Dave hadn’t actually done anything with Jade. She had someone already, and she definitely wasn’t the type to cheat.

     “Really, my sister? I thought you were my friend. I’m calling it, this has gone too far. We need a friend divorce. I can’t believe you cheated on me with my sister.” He sniffled, flopping back against the pillows dramatically and covering his eyes with his arm. “I don’t know how I’ll ever get over it! I shall die of a broken heart. You did this, Dave. It was you.”

     “Sorry, bro. I guess I did wanna miss a thing.” Dave followed this statement by snickering at his own joke, of course, and John laughed too. He was really just glad Dave felt okay enough to laugh, even if it was only a little. And at a stupid joke.

     “So, do you wanna go down to the cafe or something? I mean, I doubt too many people are there just because so many of us feel like utter shit, but.” Dave did a little shruggy thing that John could feel. It wasn’t quite a proper shrug, but the meaning was still there.

     Humming a bit, he had to think for a moment. Did he want to go out? Would it help Dave feel better to go out? The answer to the latter was probably yes, even though he wasn’t so sure of the former. “Aw, Dave, are you asking me out on a date?” John fluttered his eyelashes at the blond. “Sure, let’s go.”

     “Hells yeah I am, if it’s getting me coffee and something sweet to eat.” Dave tended to overeat the pastries that the cafe, allegedly known as Prospit, cranked out daily due to the handiwork of John’s older sister, Jane. That fact alone made for a lot of awkward shuffling out of the place because Dave accidentally popped the button of his jeans, and also a lot of sick days due to a sore stomach.

     Knowing this, John hesitated, but...Hey, what the hell. He couldn’t refuse, not with how much Dave obviously enjoyed the pastries. “Sure. Try not to make yourself sick, okay? It wouldn’t be a good idea with how much you had to drink last night. And you should have some Advil or something before actually going out, or you’re gonna be a bitch to everyone.” John knew he was sort of acting like a doting mother towards Dave, but hey, he couldn’t help it. The blond could barely handle doing anything by himself, anyway. Grocery shopping? He came back with bags full of junk food, claiming he had “forgotten” to get any vegetables. Right. Totally.

     “Yeah, yeah. I can manage as much. As long as you bring me the Advil, I’m getting dressed.” The other boy proceeded to struggle out of the overlarge t-shirt he was wearing, sort of just tossing it on John’s head.

     “Charming,” John muttered from under the t-shirt, pulling it off of his head and wrinkling his nose. “You need a shower too. Your shirt still smells like booze and body odor, and I can’t imagine you smell much better.”

     “Gee, thanks. I’m flattered. Good John, best friend. And all that.” He clambered off of John, flopping down on the bed and just lying there for a moment before getting off his sorry ass and making his way to the bathroom. Dork, John thought fondly, watching him go and totally not checking out said sorry ass. Hey, he couldn’t help it if Dave’s weird, skinny butt was cute! It kind of reminded him of Matthew Mcconaughey.

     Or maybe Matthew Mcconaughey reminded him of Dave. Or just, maybe, Dave’s butt? He wasn’t sure. Wait, right, he was supposed to be getting Advil, not wondering why Dave’s butt was so cute. Shaking his head at himself, John got to his feet and headed to the kitchen, rummaging in the medicine cabinet until he found the Advil. He also poured Dave a glass of water, then brought both things back to Dave’s room and set them on the nightstand. There. Now Dave could take the Advil when he got back. Instead of hanging out in there, though, which may have come off as creepy, he went to sit on the couch in the living room. He’d showered earlier, after all, and was pretty much ready to go someplace. Well. He needed to put his shoes on first, but that didn’t count.

     It was about ten minutes before John heard Dave climbing out of the shower, looking considerably less shitty than he had pre-shower. The only problem was that he had decided to take the trip from the bathroom to his room butt naked, not even bothering to put the towel around his waist. John sort of just stared at him until he disappeared, hearing the blond making an appreciative noise once in his room which confirmed he’d seen (and hopefully swallowed) the painkillers. Goddamn it, Dave. Why did he have to do that? John didn’t go walking around the house in his birthday suit. Well, he did, once. But he was fourteen and it was a dare, so there.

     Dave was out of the bedroom not much later, thankfully wearing a shirt that actually fit him rather than one of John’s. (Which were basically a snuggie on him, let’s be honest.) He did that sometimes, just to piss John off, with the excuse that “your shirts are comfy”. That was not an acceptable way to go out in public, though! Realizing he was getting lost in motherly thoughts again (Goddamn it, Kanaya. She’d planted the thought in his head), John stood, smiling at him gently.

     “You ready to go?” He said, almost too eagerly, but hey, he wanted food, too. Jane’s cooking was pretty above average. Maybe even better than his. Maybe. Not.

     “Yeah, man. Just let me grab my shoes.” Which he did, by stepping over to the kitchen and opening the fridge, grabbing his red, battered converse. He tended to do this a lot, especially during the summer. Maybe it was the Strider tendency to put random shit in the fridge, but John thought he just hated the heat and liked to have cool (literally) shoes when he went out.

     Once Dave had successfully fully dressed himself, John opened the door, bowing dramatically and waving the way for his friend as he sniggered under his breath. Dave just rolled his eyes, his shoes squeaking as he stepped out the door.

     Not too much later, both of the boys were settled in chairs opposite each other in the cafe, Dave sucking down coffee and John sipping lavishly at a hot chocolate. Honestly, any other time John would have expected Dave to get a hot chocolate or something as well, but not after a night of heavy drinking and being "dumped". Coffee (which Dave affectionately called the ‘nectar of life’) was best right now, no matter how much Dave liked chocolate. Which he did. Maybe a little too much. This brought John back to that one birthday of Dave’s where he had bought the birthday boy a giant Hershey’s bar. Ah, good times. Very messy, good times.

     Oh wait, he was kind of just staring at Dave and not actually drinking his hot chocolate while remembering how Dave had done his best to eat a giant bar of chocolate in one sitting. Oops. That could get kind of awkward.

     “What are you lookin’ at?” Dave asked nonchalantly, setting the now-empty mug down on the table between them. John swallowed, seeing a sliver of Dave's eyes behind his shades as he sat back, regarding him with what the taller boy perceived as curiosity.

     "Oh, nothing! Just zoned out a little there. Remembering the time you tried to eat half your body weight in chocolate," John teased, knowing the candy bar hadn't really been that big, duh! He just liked to make fun of Dave for being tiny.

     “I thought we’d agreed to never speak of that again.” Dave looked like he was about to go off on some sort of rant about the brief and hypocritical pleasures of chocolate before the bell above the door jingled, signalling the arrival of none other than Roxy Lalonde, who proceeded to make bedroom eyes at John as he turned to look over at her, and then sit on the couch by the roaring fire.

     Seemingly oblivious to Roxy's flirtatious attitude, John just gave her a friendly wave and a smile, calling a greeting. He and Roxy were pretty good friends, he thought! She was often around when he went to visit Rose, and they seemed to have hit it off on their first meeting, which was pretty cool. Not that she was hard to get along with. Dave acted sorta weird whenever John talked about her, but he told John he just didn't want him picking up her bad habits. Like excessive alcohol consumption.

     “Hey, yous guys!” Roxy chimed in that accent of hers nobody could seem to put a finger on. “How’s it goin’?”

     Dave shot a smirk over in Roxy’s direction. “Pretty good. Can you tell I stayed up all night making out with boys?”

     The rangy girl mocked surprise, gasping all too loud. “Really now, mister Strider? What boy had the honor of mackin’ on you?” She winked, and John rolled his eyes. Roxy had, in fact, been at the club last night, though he wasn’t sure if she’d seen that Dave/Sollux makeout session in front of the bar.

     “Captor. But he has a girlfriend, apparently, who I stole him away from for a night of obscene pleasure. We were about to get fuckin’ matrimonial.” Oh, Dave. Always reusing old jokes. However, John never tired of them.

     "And then you wobbled your way over and puked on me," John interjected, wrinkling his nose at the memory. He still needed to wash that shirt again. The smell of alcohol hadn't quite come out the first time it went through the wash.

     “I did?” He made a disgusted face, before smirking once again, his lips curling up slightly. “Man, I love drunk me. He is a man with his priorities in order.”

     John sighed. "Yeah, I told you when we were chatting over Pesterchum before, remember?"

     “Yeah, but I know you totally liked it, you emetophiliac.”

     “Eat shit, Dave Strider.” John grimaced. Gross!

     “You were covered in mine last night.”

     “Boys, boys!” Roxy interrupted John’s brief string of expletives, holding her hands out between them. “Calm down, we don’t need a bar fight in a cafe. There’s only one table to break.”

     At least that was one thing Dave usually didn't do when drunk. Although John supposed if Dave did get into a fight, he could just pick him up and carry him off under his arm. That mental picture was pretty funny, and he had to keep himself from snickering.

     “There’s not gonna be a bar fight, Rox. We’re not really mad. John over here is just cranky because he had to deal with my drunk ass last night.”

     “Yeah, only because you’re a lightweight!” John stuck his tongue out at the other boy, making a noise in the back of his throat. The truth was, he liked to argue with Dave. It was funny to back him into a corner and watch him get all flustered because he had nowhere else to go.

     Was that supposed to be sexual? No, but it sure sounded like it, and John shook his head quickly. Okay, next topic!

     Suddenly, the bell rang again, and John watched Roxy’s face light up as Dirk and Jake entered the cafe, holding hands, of course. He heard Dave groan across the table.

     “Hey, Dirk, mister English.” Roxy stood, bowing dramatically and giggling. John smiled over at her; her laugh was pretty infectious. And it probably would be to Dave, too, if he wasn’t busy glowering at the blatant display of homosexuality placing itself on the couch across from him. Jake and Dirk's relationship only bothered him because he and Dirk were related, John was sure. Which was stupid! He thought Dave should be happy for Dirk, but apparently that wasn't how Striders did things. It was still stupid though.

     “A grand morning, isn’t it, John? Dave?” Jake said, a huge, buck-toothed grin not too dissimilar from John's on his face.

     “Sure,” Dave mumbled, slumping back in his chair. John shot a look at him as he nodded happily over at Jake, who was already off and talking about some movie he’d watched last night. Dave’s brother was silent, smiling slightly at his boyfriend.

     John was pretty engaged in the conversation after a couple minutes, but Dave seemed restless, even going so far as to swipe John's hot chocolate (which by now was more like warm chocolate) and drink it. Rude. John didn't really care that much, though. He was having a heated argument over the themes and mood in Armageddon.

     Finally, the blond seemed to have had enough. "I'm gonna go get something to eat," he announced, standing and taking John's mug with him, presumably so he could refill it.

     John sighed, exasperated, before getting up. Goddamn it, Dave. Why was he so sensitive about all this? It’s not like seeing his brother with someone is a huge deal, right? It wasn’t a big deal when Jane was dating Karkat or whoever, so why is this such a big whoop?

     "Fine, I'll come with you," John muttered, about to apologize to Jake when he realized his cousin had gone back to talking to Dirk, probably distracted by something he'd said. Oh, well. He may as well try to keep Dave from going overboard with the sweets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ay it's me zeba aka tumblr user johnxdavesprite aka jhon aka dog
> 
> hope you like this fic so far! it's my first time ever collabing with someone and im really happy it's with my gf so there's that
> 
> btw if it wasn't obvious john is way taller than dave and kinda buff and dave is just
> 
> tiny
> 
> not sure how many chapters this is gonna have just yet but it's probably gonna be a lot


	2. the worst mourning ever, through the eyes of an insufferable prick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave has a hangover. Dave is angry at his brother. Dave is a worthless piece of shit. Dave Dave Dave Dave. Shut up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's zeba again yeah my gf wrote most of this chapter tbh i just edited

Dave felt this rather painful burning sensation in the back of his eyes as he awoke, stirring quietly on the floor of the tiny apartment bathroom. He felt as if he should have some sort of mental soliloquy about how the earth is meaningless and so is he, how he’s just a lonely douchebag wandering a lonely road, the only road he’s ever walked he walks alone, blah blah blah. Whenever Dave has a hangover things turn into Green Day for some reason, though he has no inkling as to why that happens.

The blond groaned as he sat up, rubbing his head, the aching that had been going on not getting much better in the meantime. Getting drunk off your ass was a bitch, Dave decided, and he was probably going to do it over and over again. When you have a few days off from school, what else are you gonna do? Not sensible things, that's for sure. He really didn't know how John managed it. Besides claiming that he "didn't like" drinking. Which was ridiculous. And highly irrational. Dave had no idea how John thought such irrational things. Who doesn’t like drinking? Why were his thoughts so quippy and short and ridiculous?

After about twenty minutes attempting to sit up and expel whatever was left in his stomach into the toilet (his stomach was empty, or mostly so, and it reminded him by growling loudly), he slumped down onto the floor, sighing. The blond blinked as he saw his phone resting on the edge of the tub, and he sat up again in an attempt to grab it. It took a few times, but eventually he succeeded, retrieving his cell phone and opening pesterchum. He knew that it was obvious John was going to be more eloquent than him at this time of morning-- well, afternoon, actually-- so he put on a brave face, setting his mood to ‘cheery’ as some kind of post-drunk irony.

 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:25 -- TG: uuuuuuuuugh  
TG: john im  
TG: im dying  
TG: im literally dying  
TG: my head feels like its cracked  
TG: im bleeding out onto the bathroom floor  
TG: im fucking hopeless this is bullshit man  
TG: bullshit  
EB: good morning, sleeping beauty.  
TG: its like a chant to the underworld bullshit bullshit bullshit bull fucking shit bye  
TG: stfu  
EB: you only have yourself to blame! i tried to keep you at least somewhat sober. like. enough to not feel like you're dying.  
EB: but nooo. you insisted. i guess it didn't help that karkat was taunting you but...  
TG: well you obviously are a shitty friend john  
TG: how many apple vodka shots did i even have  
TG: and why apple  
TG: why is my subconscious so geared on apple juice  
EB: because you love apples.  
EB: duh.  
EB: i don't know exactly how many you had.  
EB: i think you kept sneaking them in behind my back.  
EB: i had to literally carry you out to the car.  
TG: nice  
TG: i wish you were my dad  
TG: you would be a good dad  
EB: ew. no.  
EB: i don't want to be your dad.  
TG: oh daddy senpai  
EB: dude, cut it out!  
TG: pls come over and save my sorry ass  
TG: im in the fetal position on the bathroom floor  
TG: im like  
TG: a mid menstrual teenage girl  
EB: you puked on me by the way. it was terrible.  
TG: im so proud of drunk me  
TG: hes a very good man  
EB: i know you're in the bathroom, by the way. i can hear you whining. did you forget we live in the same apartment?  
TG: hurling on my best friend just great i love it  
TG: oh  
TG: right  
EB: i almost couldn't get you into bed. you're suuuuper clingy when you're drunk.  
EB: and by into bed i mean your own bed.  
EB: you were determined to sleep in mine.  
TG: yeah i remember that part tbh  
TG: but john im in immense pain right now  
TG: like  
TG: have you ever taken 5 laxatives at once  
TG: because thats what i feel like right now  
EB: gross.  
TG: ik  
EB: well hey, you're lucky i don't even like to drink so i can pick you up every time you end up on the floor under the table in a puddle of vomit and regret.  
EB: so uh. you did something last night you might want to know about, 'cause, i don't know exactly how drunk you were at that point but it had to have been pretty drunk?  
EB: and i'm not sure if you remember.  
TG: remember what  
EB: well you uh. kinda made out with sollux.  
TG: what  
TG: i did??????  
TG: oh man  
TG: score  
EB: oh.  
EB: yeah.  
EB: you did.  
EB: but uh. i mean. you weren't planning on doing it again, were you?  
TG: what are we dating or something now  
EB: i don't think so.  
TG: oh  
TG: why??  
EB: because he just made out with you in a club and i don't think that necessarily means anything considering you were probably both drunk??  
EB: and i don't know if you...should try and pursue him anyway?  
EB: i mean, dave, he's kind of a douchebag!  
TG: aw cmon man sollux is cool  
TG: he gives everyone cool nicknames  
EB: not really.  
EB: he spends most of his time playing call of duty and shit from what i've heard.  
EB: i dunno.  
TG: he calls me ds and he calls karkat kk  
TG: and he calls you db  
TG: not sure what that means tho  
EB: ...probably douchebag. he's one to talk.  
TG: nah  
EB: what do you think it means then?  
TG: uh  
TG: i dunno  
TG: something cool  
TG: or  
TG: yeah i got nothing  
EB: he's just. kind of a dick! and i'm not sure if it would be a good idea for you two to get involved!  
TG: maybe youre just unnecessarily mean to him  
EB: i'm not even mean to him. he's just a jerk and it pisses me off.  
TG: yeah whatever  
EB: ugh.  
TG: im gonna ask him out  
TG: hes online so  
TG: yeah  
EB: do what you want.  
TG: here goes  
EB: i mean, as said before, i'm not your dad.  
EB: i can't tell you what to do.  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:48 --  


Dave sat up, a little more cheery now. Sollux was pretty cool, actually. And liking him was a thing that had been happening for the past couple weeks, ever since they started playing this MMORPG called ‘Wizards 101’ together. It was mostly ironic, for the both of them, and Dave remembered staying up till the wee hours of the morning, talking to this sort of gangly, nerdy guy about how many people had died before them, how many people would die after them, what existed of their subconscious before they were even conceived, et cetera. Dave had a weird attraction to dead things, mostly because it was something that soothed him. Fearing death was a normal thing for most people, but the blond felt as if he… feared it more than most? When it was dark and he was left alone to his own thoughts, that creeping, niggling phrase would creep in again- what happens after you die? Dave would curl up and think about his bro, think about his friends, anything, think through tears that blurred his vision and made him feel even more alone than he knew he was. He would panic in the dead of night, trying to grasp onto some temporary feeling of religion to make him less afraid of the unknown. Now, that he was older, the fear was intensified, sure. But he took it out on fascination and speaking to others about it. The only person he’d really never brought it up with was John. He was afraid, even more so in this situation. What if John thought differently of him? What if he wasn’t the desperate coolkid that his friend perceived him as? Fear is a fickle thing; sometimes you have no recollection of it and sometimes it makes you want to cease to exist. Damn mortality, Dave would think. Damn being aware of how the demise of all things is imminent according to the universe.

Okay, time to pester Sollux.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering twinArmageddons[TA]at 13:49 --  
TG: yo sup  
TA: uuuuugh.  
TG: what is it too early for princess sollux  
TG: did i wake you  
TA: ye2, you diid.  
TA: a22hole.  
TG: geez sorry  
TG: so do you remember all the fuckin rad shit that went down last night  
TG: or  
TA: 2ort of.  
TA: kiind of, liike.  
TA: little tiidbiit2.  
TG: ah ok  
TG: do you remember like the uh  
TG: whole  
TG: macking thing  
TG: or whatever  
TA: yeah. why?  
TG: i was wondering if you maybe wanted to grab lunch or something  
TG: or idk, come over for a rap session  
TA: uh, ii don’t really liike 2ma2h poetry, 2orry.  
TG: oh ok  
TG: well then lunch maybe  
TG: idk  
TA: you 2ound awfully de2perate.  
TG: you sounded pretty desperate last night  
TA: hey, ii make the mo2t of not beiing dead, ok?  
TA: al2o, 2orry to iinform you about thii2 now, but ii have a girlfriiend. aa, you know her, riight?  
TG: woah uh  
TG: ok  
TA: hey, don’t fliip out, ok?  
TA: ii get it, you’re probably mad at me.  
TA: ii’m an a22hole. that ha2 been previiou2ly 2tated 2everal tiime2.  
TA: we can 2tiill be friend2, though, riight?  
TA: dave?  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] blocked twinArmageddons [TA] at 13:56 --

Nice going, Dave. Blocking your only gamer friend, who can unblock himself anyway due to his ‘mad hackiing 2kiill2’. How are you going to beat the dark wizard overlord now? The blond sighed, leaning back against the wall of the bathroom and rubbing his eyes, convincing himself that no, he wasn’t crying, and the tightness in his throat was just from dehydration. It was also just making his head hurt even more. So much for not being a lonely piece of shit. There was, still, a niggling voice in the back of his head saying ‘hey! stop being so self-deprecating!’ that sounded suspiciously like John, but Dave ignored it, going back to the pesterlog between him and his roommate.

EB: hey. dave??  
EB: dude.  
EB: ugh.  
EB: guess i'm coming to check on you then.  


Oh, shit. That was a bad idea. John was not coming in here while he looked like he’d been crying! Which, he wasn’t. Truth be told, he’d miss those weird, sort of underground soul-searching skype calls with the guy. Dave wasn’t forgiving him for this anytime soon, that’s for sure.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:56 \--  
TG: nooo dont im  
TG: a mess  
EB: oh.  
EB: why? just the hangover or?  
TG: apparently he  
TG: has a girlfriend  
EB: oh.  
TG: aa or something  
EB: aradia.  
TG: i would use a sad face emoticon but  
TG: nah  
EB: i know her. dunno what she sees in him but...  
EB: i'm coming to check on you.  
TG: noooo why  
EB: because i check on you every time something like this happens.  
TG: noooooooooooo  
TG: i look horrible  
EB: i don't care.  
EB: see you in two seconds.  
TG: im not cool enough for your eyes  
TG: noooo  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:01 --  
TG: :((

Ugh. Yeah. He did not want John seeing him like this, but he barely had time to reflect on how much he didn’t want John seeing him like this before his taller, buff-er roommate was bursting into the bathroom. Well, not into into. He kinda paused a little in the doorway as if taking in Dave’s appearance. Dave looked at the floor, somewhat ashamed of his appearance. This wasn’t exactly the end of the world, but it was still pretty damn horrible. He was embarrassed, grasping like a kid trying to reach the candy bowl at the top of the fridge. In this situation, the candy bowl was Dave the coolkid. And the kid was just Dave the regular, sort of depressed and anxious guy.

“...Hey. It’s okay. Just. C’mere.” And just like that, he was being swept up, literally off his feet and into a surprisingly gentle hug. Too tired and hungover to resist, Dave relaxed into his embrace almost instantly, though he did mutter a quiet “fuck you”, just to show John that he didn’t really like it. Though, John’s arms were pretty comfortable. He wished that John would stop being so cuddly, though. He needed to cry by himself, not like a little fucking baby into John’s arms. This was ridiculous. Why was the lump in his throat getting bigger.

Of course John ignored his rudeness, leading Dave to speak again in an attempt to break the silence. His voice was a little strained, and he cursed himself for being so damn emotional. “Hey, c’mon, man. I told you I didn’t need any help, ok?” He doubted the other boy would actually believe him. In fact, he didn’t even believe himself. He always needed help. He always needed to be fucking babied. He always needed to be fed from a silver spoon. He was the little kid whining for attention in his high chair. John was the annoyed babysitter. Or, maybe not. Maybe he was just a concerned friend.

Nah.

“Bullshit. If I leave you on your own you’re going to end up on the couch watching romcoms and drowning your feelings in ice cream, and I definitely can’t have that from the coolest of coolkids.” The blond squeezed his eyes shut. Why did John have to talk down to him? Why was it so hard for him to accept help? Why couldn’t Dave just do things on his own? Why was he so afraid of being alone?

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Dave’s voice was quiet as he shut down. Giving in was easier than fighting.

John giggled, and Dave just rolled his eyes as he was carried to his bedroom. John made a move to put him down, and the blond gripped onto the back of John’s neck. Oh, no you don’t. I’m too deep in this for you to just leave me here. 

Instead, the noiret sat himself down on the bed, Dave in his lap. The blond wasn’t exactly responsive, nor did he want to be. He’d rather just suck everything in and not say anything that meant something. No feelings here, as was his understanding of the relationship between the coolkid Dave Strider and the dweeb John Egbert. 

“Hey, man. Can you loosen your grip a little? You’re kinda strangling me here.” John said, and Dave just sort of groaned.

“No, man. We’re forever linked like this. It’s like, I’m this weird parasite who you woke up to one morning, all clinging to you or some shit. At first you thought it was gross, but then you realized this weird, sort of hot parasite was the raddest guy around, and you became best bros, the end. It’ll be a movie. We can call it ‘The Davebert Sandwich’. Based on a true story. Sort of.” The blond felt like he could keep going with this, maybe carry a video camera around the house as he clung to John like a fucking monkey, but he decided against it. 

“I think a sandwich requires more than two people, and I don’t think you’d want to share, Dave. You have to think up another title, sorry to tell you.” 

“Shut up, man. My title is the best, don’t lie.” Dave pressed his nose into the fabric of John’s shirt, smelling his deodorant. Suspicious. “Hey, you’re wearing my shirt.”

He heard John snort, and then say, “No, I’m not. It’s my shirt. That I found when I was doing the laundry after it went mysteriously missing.” 

“Hey, once the Strider wears it, he’s claimed it for his own and it’s added to his hoard. We’re like teenage girls. Hoarding clothes is a common passion.” He froze when John suddenly had a hand in his hair. Okay, that’s a little too close for comfort. 

“Hey. I’ve never seen you actually wearing this shirt, though. Did you just wear it while I wasn’t home, or maybe...to bed? Dave, wow. You do love me.” 

Trying to lighten the mood, and also get John’s hand out of his sick weave (it wasn’t a weave, let’s be honest) he said, “Yeah, I totes wore it as jammies. When I screwed your sister!”

“Really, my sister? I thought you were my friend. I’m calling it, this has gone too far. We need a friend divorce. I can’t believe you cheated on me with my sister.” He felt the hand leave his head, hopefully for greener pastures. “I don’t know how I’ll ever get over it! I shall die of a broken heart. You did this, Dave. It was you.” 

“Sorry, bro. I guess I did wanna miss a thing.” Dave laughed. Cracking dumb jokes was a surefire way to cheer himself up.

“So, do you wanna go down to the cafe or something? I mean, I doubt too many people are there just because so many of us feel like utter shit, but.” It was tradition, most mornings, that their little friend group- John’s cousins and sibling, and yours, too, along with Karkat’s mob of slightly cranky friends- would gather in the cafe for breakfast or coffee. After that, people tended to split off and do their own thing for the rest of the day. It was like summer camp, but not really, Dave thought. Why did he think of summer camp? That only brought back gross memories.

“Aw, Dave, are you asking me out on a date?” John asked in a singsong voice. Jesus, stop dicking around. Dave wants food in his protein chute, and ASAP. “Sure, let’s go.”  
“Hells yeah I am, if it’s getting me coffee and something sweet to eat.” Dave responded, though a little late. 

“Sure. Try not to make yourself sick, okay? It wouldn’t be a good idea with how much you had to drink last night. And you should have some Advil or something before actually going out, or you’re gonna be a bitch to everyone.” There’s momma bird John again. Ah, the unwanted friendship dynamics they had.

“Yeah, yeah. I can manage as much. As long as you bring me the Advil, I’m getting dressed.” Dave confirmed this by pulling off the t-shirt he was wearing, which landed on John’s head in a perfect reenactment of that one time when John was fucking around with a towel and he said that the ‘cicrle of stupidity’ was complete. Or something like that. It was years ago, how does Dave even remember?

“Charming,” John muttered, scowling as the scent of the garment hit his oh-so sensitive nostrils. “You need a shower too. Your shirt still smells like booze and body odor, and I can’t imagine you smell much better.”

“Gee, thanks. I’m flattered. Good John, best friend. And all that.” With that, he climbed off of John, flopping down on the bed for a moment before making his way back to the bathroom in conceivably better spirits.

One grumpy, sort of teary shower and naked, risky run to his room later, Dave was pulling his shoes out of the fridge (he liked his kicks cool, shut up) and stepping out the door with John in tow. The cafe wasn’t far, really. Just a couple of blocks away, and the walk was nice. When both of the boys arrived, the bell jingling above their heads, Dave ordered a coffee and John a hot cocoa. God knows why hot drinks were good at the end of July, but the end of July was the end of sunny days in New York. Now, the sky was covered with a thick layer of clouds, hiding the blistering sun, though it was still rather warm out, basically abating the effects of the fire roaring in the hearth of the place. 

After a short while, Dave realized John was staring at him, and he looked up, inquiring as to why John was doing so. John went off on a tangent about how he was thinking about the time he ate a ridiculously huge chocolate bar, which the blond again reminded John that what happens on his birthday, stays on his birthday. Everything seemed to be going by in a blur, with Roxy arriving- whom Dave greeted to the nicest of his hungover extent- the entire, painful (but only sort of) conversation about Sollux; why did he keep coming up in conversation? John teasing him about puking on him, which pissed him off, in a way. Insecurity was something Dave never exactly enjoyed, though who enjoys it anyways? Pain demands to be felt, quoting an imaginary book from another, quite trashy and very real book, if you ask Dave. And the blond didn’t like that the phrase was true. He wished he could set up walls. A mental fortress, per say, so that no one could see right through him like John could. Maybe he could ask Terezi or her older sister, they were good at that sort of thing.  
After calling John an emetophiliac and nearly starting a bar fight, apparently, the bell above the door rang for the third time that morning. The freak show had arrived, and Dave groaned loudly to express his dislike of the situation suddenly thrust upon him. This wasn’t fair. He was single, for all intents and purposes, and his gay brother has to just come here, into his (though personally claimed) cafe with his dumb gay boyfriend (who wears booty shorts, of all the homoerotic things to wear?) and rub it in his face. This is like Valentine’s all over again, damnit.

Roxy greeted them, Jake grinned, Dave scowled at his brother- or was he his cousin?- who just looked at him with this smug expression on his face. He obviously had heard about last night and was out to make this the worst morning of Dave’s life. Scratch that, the worst mourning of his life. Dirk and Jake came in every day, of course. But today was different. Every day was always different for its own individual purpose, but today Dave was just making up excuses to be a dick. He didn’t love his brother. Dirk was a prince and he only a knight, in the metaphorical sense. Dave’s brother still had this ugly, smuppety hand affixed tightly to the younger Strider’s ass, and it wasn’t coming off anytime soon. In other words, his bro owned his ass. Both of them, actually. The older one and the one who was around the same age as him and actually his cousin. He’d grown up with Dirk, though, and pretty much thought of him as his brother. Whatever. Enough thinking about his weird-ass family that never made any sense in the first place. Like, where’s his dad? Jesus.

Dave just kept rolling his eyes at the conversation about shitty movies that had resumed. ‘Resumed’ was always a good word, because John and Jake really never stopped talking about shitty movies. He didn’t trash talk them out loud, though. That would just get him a harsh scolding from any Harley/Egbert/English/Crocker in the area. Why can’t they all just have the same last name? Dave complained to himself as he sipped at John’s hot cocoa, which had somehow ended up in his hand. 

It wasn’t long before the blonde was fed up. Bye, just bye, I’m logging the fuck out of this conversation, hopefully you don’t pull a Sword Art Online and put me in a mental fucking death trap. At least my cousin-sibling isn’t in love with me. Okay, that metaphor was a little obtuse, and that was also a pretty shitty anime, but Dave had no choice but to get up and leave! He was sick of Dirk overshadowing him, and being awesome. Mostly the former. So, Dave headed over to the counter, leaning over it and waiting for Jane to spot him and take care of this horrible sin that had been inevitably committed- two empty coffee mugs. 

The blonde groaned as he saw John walking towards him. 

“Dude, what is up with you?” The taller boy said, grabbing his empty mug out of Dave’s hand, leaving him surprised and sort of bewildered. John was sort of scary when he was angry. Luckily he didn’t get angry very often, but when he did...Well. He was over six feet tall, for Christ’s sake.

“Nothing. I just--”

“No, not nothing. You never act like this! Is this because Sollux was being a dick or something? Or because I had the decency to help you out this morning, even after you puked on me, like, three times?” His voice stayed low, probably to avoid making a scene, but the impact of the words was still the same. He kept stepping forward as Dave shrank back, his eyes wide behind his sunglasses. John almost never got pissed at him, at least, not for real, so it was always a shock when he did.

“Look, man. I know you have, like, an issue with people helping you, or something. But you need to fucking suck it up, right now. It’s putting me in a bad mood, and it’s making all of our friends worried! I mean, Dirk has no idea what the fuck is up with you. He wasn’t even at the party last night!”

Oh. Shit, John was right. Dirk and Jake skipped out on the club, deciding instead to go out to dinner at some Italian place. 

“I know, but. He’s obviously trying to piss me off, I mean. C’mon.”

“Okay, first of all, he’s not. Second of all, pull your shit together. He’s your family, and I know I can’t make you two get along, but you can’t just be a dick to him all the time! He’s not showing off to make you upset. He’s just happy with Jake and it’s not his fault you take it as a personal offense.”

“I know.” Dave’s voice was quiet, and he saw John’s gaze soften. 

“I’m not really mad, okay? Just frustrated.”

“Same thing.”

“No, not same thing. If you want to stop feeling like utter, useless shit, because I know you’re thinking that!” He cut Dave off before he could interject. “Do you want to like, help me out by cleaning up the house today? I have to go into the station, they want me to cover this one song by Bastille, and Jade’s gonna be singing.” John was an intern slash performer at the local ‘up and coming’ radio station, which was sort of like a talent show for people who needed that first step before going big. Not that John was going big, or anything. Jade was. She played bass and was also an excellent singer, and her brother just backed her up by playing piano. They were pretty well-known as a duo, and often did interviews together. Dave had also had a couple gigs on the station, his personal mixes playing every once in a while on their empty spaces where the station needed some filler noise. 

“Yeah, I can do that, just.” He hung his head, sighing. “I’m really sorry, okay? Fuck.” 

Dave was suddenly crying, and it wasn’t a beautiful type of cry. He wondered how anyone could ever think crying was a pretty thing- curled lips and reddened eyes, with ruddy, tear-stained cheeks. Crying is only beautiful in movies, where actors learn to control their tear ducts, cry without emotion. There wasn’t even that much emotion here, Dave realized, as he leaned back against the wall where no one but John could see, his tears falling in messy spots on the floor. This was a low. This was a ten-foot hole that he was stuck in, which was smack in the bottom of an abyss that he guessed he could call his life. And John was the balloon that was trying to make itself bigger, trying to lift him out. This just made him think of the Spongebob glove world episode, which made him laugh a little, then cry even more.

John just reached out in that way he had, the careful way that Dave almost never managed to flinch away from, and held him close. The blond didn’t hug back, but John gently stroked his back, shushing him, as outside rain began to fall, just a few drops a first, until a storm akin to the one in Dave’s heart was raging outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey it's ryn! i'm putting my notes at the end this time. i hope you guys are happy with how fast we're cranking out chapters. i'm still a little jittery from all the coffee i've been drinking, which originally started me on working to finish like half of this chapter. im so sorry zeba. i love writing dave


	3. Donner? Like, the Reindeer?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey check it! it's the third chapter finally. sorry it took so long were lazy af
> 
>  
> 
> chapter four will be smut, and it's an optional read!

It took a little while, but eventually Dave had stopped crying, which John was relieved about. He hated it when Dave cried, and he felt intensely guilty over the idea that it had been him who’d caused the tears. Guilty enough, in fact, that he ended up buying Dave five apple turnovers. Oh, well. Dave liked them, so it was okay. Upon getting his food, the blond confided quietly that he just wanted to go home, probably because it was pretty obvious even with his shades in the way that he’d been crying, his cheeks tearstained and blotchy. 

John conceded, an arm slung around his roommate’s shoulders as they exited the cafe. Since Dave wasn’t in the mood, it was up to him to wave goodbye to their friends and explain that Dave wasn’t feeling well, otherwise they probably would have asked why he was leaving already. Normally he would have been happy to sit and talk for a long time, but not today.

It was only a few minutes’ walk to get back home, but it seemed longer to John, maybe because Dave was apparently lost in his thoughts, or maybe because the rain, though it had lightened considerably, was making everything so damn cold. Either that or he was pouting. Whatever he was doing, he wasn’t talking, lending the walk back home a melancholy sort of feeling. John didn’t know how to break the silence, either, making it sort of awkward as well. Once John couldn’t take in anymore, he sighed, exasperated, before he began to sing under his breath. Anything to break this weird walking skype-call thing or whatever it was.

“Dave, is it just you and me in this big mess of the world, the stars that shine bright, the moon that glows like a pearl…” He started improvising with the tune of ‘Remember You-- y’know, that one episode of Adventure Time where you officially stop hating the Ice King? Yeah. John felt Dave shift, and out of the corner of his eye he saw him turn his head just slightly. That was all the encouragement John needed, now that he knew Dave was listening.

“And I know you’ll probably need me here with you, and I’m losing myself, and god I don’t wanna lose you…” The taller boy sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. A thousand words, only a few said. It was like reading one of the books on the holocaust- so much information blacked out, only a little revealed. Not enough to make assumptions. John wondered if it hurt for the old-timey German government to keep secrets, because god knows it hurt him. He had come to terms with it a long time ago--the fact that he, the token straight guy whom no one had ever given a second thought about being gay--was hopelessly, painfully in love with Dave Strider. It had been a gradual thing, but...at the same time not. It was difficult to explain. 

He had, of course, started out with simple platonic feelings for Dave. Possibly the smallest hint of a crush, but at that time he hadn’t been willing to accept any feelings for guys that weren’t platonic. Slowly, though, his feelings grew, until he could say without a doubt that he loved Dave. Still, he was of the belief that it was a platonic love, no matter how strong it was. It wasn’t until he and Dave moved in together that he realized his desire to make Dave happy and keep him safe, and it was at that point that he figured out “wow, I’m in love with Dave”. And he was...okay with it. It was like, he’d slowly been accepting it up until that point without realizing it, and now it just wasn’t a huge deal. Or, at least, not as far whatever sliver of the kid he’d once been was concerned. But in the now, the present, it hurt, because it was solely unrequited. Dave always said that love would find him, he didn’t need to go searching for it. John thought that Dave was crazy once, but now he realizes he was right. Love did find Dave, but it wasn’t the love Dave was looking for.

“You make me feel alive, and it’s making me crazy, I need to care for you, but who’s gonna care for me? Please forgive me for, whatever I do…” John swallowed. “When time loses you.”

Dave was silent, but John knew he was still listening, and he hadn’t indicated in any way that he wanted him so stop, so the raven-haired boy kept singing, his eyes half lidded as he lost himself in the falsettos, the notes gracing the wet air like the quiet rush of wind traveling through trees. “Dave, I don’t want to ever slip away, sometimes I don’t even know what to say, but I remember that a made you cry, oh please don’t do that to me, I’d rather go and die…” John trailed off for a moment, before clearing his throat and singing once more. 

“I swear you’re keepin’ me a-”

“Alive, and it’s makin’ me crazy,” Dave had joined in, now, and his voice flowed like a smooth, intricate machine; a clock, per say. It was less mechanical but still so duly timed, and it reminded John a lot of Hunter Hayes, though with just a little less twang. 

“And I want to care for you…”

“But who’s gonna care for me?”

The song continued like that, back and forth and harmonizing every once in a while, until they ran out of lyrics and they both were left humming the tune. Dave had moved closer to John’s side by now, and he could feel the shorter boy’s warmth against his side as they walked. It seemed like he’d cheered up, at least a little, which was what John had been aiming for, and the humming was much better than silence.

It didn’t last long, though, as soon they were back home, and the melody died in John’s throat as he fumbled with his keys. Dave’s humming tapered off into silence only a second later, but the mood between them was much improved regardless. Once John popped the door open, he turned to look down at Dave, his lips curling up just slightly. 

Suddenly, Dave jumped up, wrapping his arms around John’s neck, hugging him close. John froze for a moment, startled by such a display of affection from Dave, before he hesitantly wrapped his arms around Dave’s waist in return. It wasn’t often that the blond actually initiated hugs, particularly not with such enthusiasm, so he made sure to hold him for as long as he wanted, only letting go when Dave started to squirm out of his embrace. The reason he’d ended the hug was obvious as he immediately took the bag John had been carrying for him, pulling out a turnover to bite into. No utensils, huh? John expected as much.

“So, I guess I’ll see you later?” John said after grabbing an umbrella from their little canister by the door, looking inside the darker ends of the apartment as he did so, which were, as stated previously, a mess. 

“Yeah. Once I’m done dry-cleaning the entire place.” Dave snorted, poking him in the chest as he took one more bite of the pastry before stepping inside, closing the door behind him, leaving John alone outside in the drizzle.

There was a reason of course that he was still outside. It wasn’t like he was being kicked out or anything, that would be stupid. He just had a job to go to, and even though it kind of felt bad to have Dave close the door in his face, that feeling was really not justified at all. Just stop thinking about it, He told himself as he made the short walk down to the radio station.

When he arrived, Jade was already there, guitar case slung over her shoulder. “Hey, John!” She said cheerily, sipping from a mug of what looked to be some sort of tea. “You ready to perform?”

“Yeah, sure, though I doubt ‘performing’ is the right word.” John snickered, ruffling the girl’s hair as he walked past her, passing through the doors of the station. Jade followed John quietly, their steps echoing in the fairly empty lobby as they stepped into the small elevator on the back wall of the place.

“So, you have your sheet music, right?” Jade asked.

“Yeah, I left it here with my piano last night after practice.” 

“Oh, okay.” John loved Jade, but with radio it was all business with her. There was no getting her to crack jokes when she was about to sing. 

Sooner or later, the guy who ran the station had both siblings in the booth, John poised at his keyboard and Jade sitting on a stool with her bass, the microphone positioned carefully in front of her. John had a microphone, too, this time; he would be singing backup for Jade.

The guy who voiced over the show introduced the Egbert/Harleys as a ‘small-town musical inspiration to everyone’ before Jade strummed a chord on her guitar, signaling John to start playing. Jade flowed through the song like the milky way, sweet and sparkly and everything you’d imagine a girl to be. John was like water, or maybe wind, perhaps, as the notes flowed out to an unseen audience. He knew he was good at piano, but not good enough to be completely recognizable; like any other musician, he was just another bird chirping over 93.3, up-and-coming radio. 

\---

Dave was left standing inside the doorway as John left, looking completely and utterly like a poor lost puppy. Great, now he was even more of one of John’s sidekicks. Or maybe he was his only sidekick? Dave hoped so.

Considering Dave was a little wet, he ended up changing into a different pair of jeans and a gamebro t-shirt as he gathered up all the dirty clothes from the past couple weeks. It ended up being a pretty sizeable pile of smelly laundry, and he reminded himself to get John to do the laundry sooner next time.

Or, y’know, he could just do the laundry himself for once. That was a thought.

Once he’d gathered up two baskets, he grabbed the old, shitty vacuum out of the closet, plugging it in and lazily running it over the floor of the living room a couple times. Yeah, that was good enough. It wasn’t like he needed to be that thorough. They never really had anyone over, anyway. 

After he’d put the vacuum away, vowing to clean out the fridge at some point, he grabbed the two baskets of clothes, stacking them on top of each other and opening the door of the apartment, making his way downstairs and towards the laundromat.

About halfway down the stairs, Dave’s shoe ended up slipping between the gap of the stairs and he tripped. God, how ironic was that. The joke Dave had been teasing people about for YEARS and now it had finally decided to turn on him. He’d never make another stair joke in his life. Well, maybe one more. It depended on if he fell down the stairs for the eighth time since he’d lived there. 

“Shit,” The blonde grumbled, realizing the clothes he’d been carrying had gone fucking everywhere. Oops. He sat up, rubbing his head, which he was pretty sure was bruised from the fall. 

He was about to start gathering up the fallen garments, which embarrassingly enough were mainly underwear since the top basket had been full of white clothes--AKA ones that needed bleached--when he heard the sound of the door to the apartment complex opening. Shit. Why now?? Why, oh why, did one of his neighbors pick this time to come back?

Dave didn’t look up, just started picking up the clothes and dumping them back in the basket, but unfortunately whoever it was decided not to leave him alone. 

“Ay, you need help?”

He did look up at that, and fuck him, the guy was hot. Of fucking course. Despite the fact that he was wearing--what were those, goggles? Then again, Dave didn’t have any room to talk with his habit of wearing aviators all the time. He was pretty dark-skinned, black hair, not as tall as Dave would have liked, but that didn’t matter so much (it never occurred to him that his tastes in guys were very similar to how John looked). It did, however, dawn on him that he’d been staring when the stranger huffed impatiently.

“You gonna answer or what? I asked if you needed help.”

Oh. Right. That was indeed a thing he had asked. Dave scrambled to answer. “Uh--yeah, that’d be great, thanks man.” Did he stutter a little there? So cool, Dave, really.

He realized his mistake when the guy proceeded to bend down and start helping pick up his unmentionables, though luckily he didn’t seem too concerned with the fact that they were unmentionables, just tossing them carelessly into the laundry basket along with socks and everything else.

With his help, Dave had all the laundry back in its basket in no time, and the stranger decided it was time to make a comment. “Y’know, it’s easier if ya stuff everything in a pillow case. Then if you drop it, shit doesn’t go everywhere.” 

Dave just stared, baffled by this epiphany. Why the hell hadn’t he thought of that???? Stupid, he was stupid, that was why. Dave was a fucking idiot.

“Anyway...are you Dave, then?” The stranger raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to one side, and Dave just blinked at him for a moment before answering.

“Uhh...yeah? How’d you know?” To which he got what looked like an eye roll, the guy putting his hands on his hips.

The words that left his mouth next had Dave turning beet red in embarrassment. “Some of the underwear’s got ‘Dave’ on it in like. Purple Sharpie.” Bro. Why? Why had Bro had to do that?

Dave rubbed the back of his neck, leaning down to pick up the laundry baskets again. “Oh. Yeah. Ha. My brother did that before I moved out ‘cause he’s an asshole. Guess I should just be glad he didn’t write something more embarrassing.”

Seeming to understand, the stranger shrugged. “I’ve heard brothers’re assholes. I wouldn’t know. I’m Donner by the way.”

...Donner? “Like...the reindeer?” Dave asked, earning him a grimace.

“I wish people would stop fuckin’ asking that,” Donner muttered. “Yes, like the reindeer. My mom decided it was an awesome idea to name her son after a reindeer, and sadly my dad didn’t stop her. So here I am.”

Dave thought it best to change the subject. “Well uh. I gotta go wash this stuff. I’ll see you around?” He wished that last part hadn’t sounded so hopeful.

Donner kinda...half-smiled, stepping aside to let Dave past. “Yeah. See ya around, Dave.”

The blond went to walk past him, but as he did so he felt a hand pat his ass. He couldn’t help it. He yelped and jumped a little, turning only to see Donner walking away up the stairs. Fucking asshole. Dave reached around, passing his hand over the offended area and finding a sticky note, which he peeled off and looked at.

nice butt youve got there. hmu babe ;))

There was a phone number written underneath, which Dave stared at for several seconds as though he didn’t believe he’d really gotten his hot neighbor’s phone number. It had to be a prank, right? Maybe that was just the phone number for like, some weird sex hotline or something. Yeah, that had to be it. Not that Dave wouldn’t try anyway. I mean, hey, it was a boy, why not?

Suddenly, Dave realized John should be on the radio sometime soon. He folded and pocketed the sticky note before pulling out his phone, unlocking it and turning on the app he’d bought to listen to radio. His friend wasn’t on just yet, but he knew the other boy would be playing piano soon. The blond listened to someone sing a really bad rendition of some Bob Marley Song as he shoved his laundry into the washing machine, digging quarters out of his pocket and running it. Suddenly, he heard the drop of a few notes, played on an electric piano--Dave could tell, a classic piano sounded so much different--and John was playing, the chords and octave shifts flowing through his headphones and vibrating down to his bones. God, those low notes. John played piano like some proverbial piano sex god--his music was the kind of music you could fuck to, even if he was playing a fucking dramatic rendition of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. 

Okay, this metaphor was getting a little obtuse. Jade started singing, her voice like hot and deadly nebulae, settling in Dave’s stomach like stray asteroids flying out of orbit. He had no idea how Jade had such a strong connection with space, but her constant astronomy work and love for the constellations--especially cancer and peixes--made him feel like she belonged up there. She sang like she was on a mission; she was sort of a witch with the whole music thing, terrible and beautiful at once. The blond thought she was really, really beautiful, but in that way you think the sky is beautiful. You don’t want to ravage it. Or fuck it. That’s gross. Okay, getting out of hand again. That didn’t even make sense.

Dave waited around for the laundry to finish, playing some reboot flappy bird game on his phone and losing every time. Shooters were more his thing, honestly. Plus flappy bird sucked. Once the washer beeped, he knew it’d been an hour and John was probably on his way home, though not before going shopping. They were badly in need of some more food, and Dave was horrible at buying food that actually contained nutritional value. Hey, it wasn’t his fault Doritos were great. Also, vegetables were terrible.

Once Dave had shoved his clothes in the dryer, he thought it had been long enough since his run in with reindeer boy, and decided to call him. Except...after he typed in the number, he stared at the call button on his phone, unable to get up the nerve to actually press it. Goddammit. Sighing, he decided to just text him instead. Who even called people anymore? Not him. Texting all the way, yo. He added him in his contacts as ‘deerboy’ and shot him a text.

DAVE: yo its the dude with the shades

DEERBOY: Hey, sup 

DAVE: nm. doing laundry. also my butt is not that nice

DEERBOY: It definitely is though man, I checked. Thoroughly.

DAVE: wow im flattered

DAVE: also your use of capitalization is triggering me. im sorry

DEERBOY: Well isn’t that some tumblr social justice bullshit.

DAVE: yep sorry

DAVE: im birdkin sad/sads/sadself pronouns

DAVE: polygammasexual

DEERBOY: Then I must be deerkin, then, huh?

DAVE: sure bro were all havin the special snowflake syndrome over here

DAVE: anyways what even are you anyway like bi or gay or

DEERBOY: I’m deer-sexual. Ha.

DAVE: right ok

DAVE: so youre telling me i need to dress in a deer suit

DEERBOY: Yes. But if you’re asking for my super-secret actual sexuality, then I’m pan.

DAVE: woah there thats some food fetish shit going on bro 

DEERBOY: Very funny. I have never heard that joke before in my life. Ever.

DAVE: its for the irony bro

DAVE: anyways as for the whole sexuality bullshit

DAVE: same

DEERBOY: You have a food fetish too?

DAVE: sort of

DAVE: how much are you into feeding

DEERBOY: Well I’m more of a feedee myself.

DAVE: k

DEERBOY: C’mon, that’s not even a reaction. You gotta at least tell me that’s gross.  
DAVE: its not i was being serious

DEERBOY: Oh. I was kidding but that’s cool. Whatever.

DAVE: whatever. anyways were you trying to hmu for a date or something

DEERBOY: Yeah. Or something. ;))

DAVE: damn or something thats a little bit of a come on dont you think

DAVE: you just met me im not that easy

DEERBOY: So I have to take you to dinner first?

DAVE: nah dinner is for chumps

DAVE: i wont pass up a chance to get my dick wet

DAVE: anyways your place or mine

DEERBOY: What a contradiction.

DEERBOY: As for your question...I think your place might be more convenient.

DAVE: ok cool

DAVE: just knock in a couple hours i have a roommate but he wont be home till late

That was a lie. John would probably be home pretty soon if he didn’t tell him what was up. He would, though, he promised himself. Didn’t want John walking in on him shoving his dick up someone’s ass.

DEERBOY: Gotcha. I’ll be there in a couple hours. Like seven or something if that’s cool.

Holy shit. Okay, holy shit. Dave was getting laid tonight. Yes. More than yes. Hell fucking yes on a fucking corn dog, yes. After a moment of just fucking celebrating in the laundromat, he managed to open up pesterchum and contact John because he doubted his roommate wanted to walk in on that.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 15:24 --

TG: john  
TG: john john john john john  
TG: !!!!!!!!  
TG: im literally screaming rn you dont understand  
TG: im getting my dick wet tonight  
TG: yes. just yes  
TG: pls dont come home until late im having deerboy over  
TG: later

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 15:24 --

After waiting for the dryer to finish, well, drying, he piled it back up in the baskets and carried it back to the apartment, managing to not spill clothes everywhere this time. Once he made it back to the apartment, he folded clothes to pass the time, managing to even clean the kitchen a little bit to keep his mind off of stuff. He even set all the shit he’d need out on the night stand, because hell if he was gonna be searching through drawers for it. He checked his phone after showering (again), which read 6:30. John wasn’t home yet, which was a good sign, and he plopped down on the couch, waiting for his potential love interest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, it's zabe! if you couldn't figure it out, donner is the new troll, we of course don't know his name so we thought it would be hilarious to give him a deer name
> 
> he doesn't have an actual quirk because humanstuck tbh


End file.
